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Bill Lampton: Hi there. Welcome to the Biz Communication Show. I’m your host, Bill Lampton, the Biz Communication Guy, hosting the Biz Communication Show for the eighth year. And I don’t just share with you my own experiences about communication. Instead, I bring on a highly qualified guest who gives us guidelines and strategies that will boost our business. Today, it’s a great privilege to welcome from Montana, Diana Damron. Diana Damron is a keynote speaker, writer, and consultant who helps organizations build their own unique cultures of trust. Diana knows firsthand that the financial, physical, mental, and emotional costs of no trust are tremendous, as she was the target in a toxic workplace. And I can stop here and say, I can relate to that, and I’m sure you can as well. Because of her experiences in a toxic workplace, Diana’s made it her mission to help organizations and their teams grow trust through the vehicle of civility, which Diana defines as the consistent communication of respect. Diana’s clients describe her as the “human whisperer” because of her success in helping them unleash civility throughout their organization, thereby growing their own unique cultures of trust. Diana’s a former television anchor. She’s the author of two books: Civility Unleashed: Using Civility to Survive and Thrive in the Workplace and The Civility Workout: Your Personal Guide to Unleashing Civility in the Workplace. So join me as we welcome Diana Damron. Hello, Diana.
Diana Damron: Hello, Bill. How are you?
Bill Lampton: It’s just great to have you return for a second appearance on the Biz Communication Show. And who’s counting, really, because I’m sure that I will call on you frequently with your expertise in business communication that you can share with us.
Diana Damron: Oh, well, I love being here. Thank you so much for the invitation, Bill. This is just—I mean, you’re the pro, so this is just such a treat.
Bill Lampton: It’s delightful to host you, as I said. And let’s get back to this business of civility and what we need to do for trust. If you can capsule for us what the problem is and how we go about solving that problem, that’ll be very helpful.
Diana Damron: Well [laughter]—I think it’s a variety of problems, Bill, but let’s focus on a couple of them. I think, number one, one of the easiest things that we could re-establish is this concept of manners. You know, manners were really redefined beginning in the ’60s and ’70s, and they were kind of tossed out because we had been in an anti-establishment period. And manners were considered, certainly, a signal of an establishment as such. And so manners were kind of tossed to the side: “We really don’t need them; they’re too formal; they’re antiquated”. And yet, manners—and I’m not talking about forks, knives, and spoons. I’m talking about how we treat one another. And the best definition I ever heard of manners is from Emily Post, and it’s “the sensitive awareness of the feelings of others”. And I think that if you were to ask me what the problem these days and how to solve that problem in a quick way would be, the fact is our sensitive awareness these days seems, more often than not, on ourselves, our feelings, as opposed to the feelings of others. And that makes all the difference in the world. When we’re focused on our own feelings, you know, we’re looking almost to be offended and to have an issue. When we are looking at the other person, we’re paying attention to the other person, we’re more aware, we’re more in tune with them, we get out of ourselves, and we start looking at some way to make their life a little bit easier.
Bill Lampton: I think of manners, and I think of what you just said about looking out for our own interests and being self-protecting. And yet, in doing that, we set up a barrier; we set up a distance with others. And I also want to get back to you’re saying that there were times in your career that somebody broke trust with you, and that that got you started thinking about, “How can I, Diana Damron, help people understand the need for civility and move towards it?” It brought to mind a situation—and everybody can think of them, I’m sure—but it brought to mind a situation where—I’ll speak personally—I was in higher management in education and in healthcare prior to becoming a professional speaker and communication consultant. And I remember so well, one institution hired me, and they promised me after I’d been there two or three months that there would be an automatic boost in my compensation. And guess what? That didn’t happen. And so that had been promised; it had not been carried through. And you can imagine how—and our viewers and listeners can imagine how—my morale dropped because of that. Of course, I brought it to the organization’s leader, brought it to attention, showed in writing where I’d had that. And I’ll have to admit that there was no time after that that those leaders would have credibility with me. That’s—you must have hundreds of examples like that that you’ve heard from your clients.
Diana Damron: I think there’s that type of example, Bill, where something has been spelled out, and it’s very specific, and then this is something that we owe you, and then it doesn’t transpire. So the trust is really black-and-white and broken there. The lack of trust that I ran into—and it’s funny, because when I came from a television background, which is a really high-stress environment, and yet the trust in that environment of working with those men and women was never broken. Even though we were trying to—I mean, there’s yelling in a newsroom; you’re trying to get something done; you don’t have time for “please” and “thank you”; you don’t have time to, “Do you mind doing it this way?” You’re yelling. I mean, you’re very short. And yet, because we were focused on getting the story on the air, the show on the air, we had to work together. We had to communicate well. It may not have been pretty, but it was effective. I think where—and what I ran into was not in the broadcasting world; it was in a different environment—but is when you suddenly find yourself where you’re not exactly sure what is expected any longer, or where the expectations change from moment to moment, and where suddenly you feel that it’s not a cohesive team, but that we’ve now broken up into little niches and little cliques as such, and people are trying to move ahead, or that because you don’t agree 100% with the boss or with a colleague, then all of a sudden, instead of working together, trying to iron things out as I had seen in broadcasting—because believe me, directors, producers, you’ve got a lot of people there: editors, photographers, talent, the people in front of the camera, they’re not always on the same page, and they have to hammer things out. But as I said, and I worked on both coasts, so different environments, I never saw that trust broken. But when there’s a jockeying for position, when it’s almost like behind the scenes, it’s not out in the open, that’s when you begin to look around. That’s when you begin to lose that sense of trust.
Bill Lampton: You, having been a television anchor, I’m sure that you, during that phase of your career, interviewed many people on camera from a great variety of backgrounds. Now, there are many of us, as we know Diana in the business and professional world, who are going to be interviewed on camera, whether it’s a podcast, such as this one, or whether it’s a television station. Many of us are going to get interviewed. And we all know when we’re going to be interviewed that, potentially, there could be people we want to influence; there also can be a large number of people. So what three or four tips would you give us who are not television people and will not be employed as TV reporters or anchors, but we’re business people and we get an invitation to a video podcast like this or even to a television station interview? What are three or four tips you would give us on how to prepare for that?
Diana Damron: First of all, you’re not the star. There’s a tendency very often for people to think they’re the star because they’re being interviewed. The fact is, the host and the show are the star. You’re trying to make—as a guest, you are trying to make their job easy, which means you know your stuff. I mean, if you say you’re an expert in a certain arena, be sure that you’re prepared. Be sure that you come early. Be sure that you look like you care about making an impression, that you have enough respect for that host, the program, or the multiple hosts, to show up in—you’re presentable. Your hair, makeup, what you have on—it’s also a great opportunity if you have a brand. I mean, you’re talking about business people, Bill. So often we have brand colors. You’ll see me lots of times in red, because that’s one of my brand colors, so it’s an opportunity to connect and make people aware of your brand just by what you wear. Do your homework. In other words, there are so many ways of being interviewed these days. If you’re going onto a television interview, more often than not, it’s a short, tight interview. It’s about 1½, 3 minutes, maybe 5 minutes; it’s very short. In the world of podcasting, like you and I, Bill, have much more time here, and now we have really long-form interviews, and that generates a whole different type of atmosphere. So do your homework, know: What am I walking into? Are they going to be looking for tight answers? In news, we want something really tight, or we’re going to edit you, and we may not edit you the way that you want to be edited, unintentionally. If you’re going into a long-form interview, in an interview like here, you have an opportunity to speak a little bit more. Get a sense of the host’s personality, and again, show up on time and be prepared. And look at it as fun, an opportunity, and know that things will go wrong. And just be flexible. Lights will go out, tech will break, the host will have an issue or some kind of problem that they might be a little bit behind the schedule, so be flexible and enjoy yourself. It’s fun.
Bill Lampton: I think all those are so valuable, and I go back to your bit about don’t try to be the star of the show. The television host and the station and the network possibly are the stars. And the person who tries to just take over—it’s one thing to be prepared, we both know that. You should not come in unprepared. But remembering that short time span. And of course, television has changed so much in the past two or three decades, where a person before might have been interviewed for 25 minutes. That’s just—unless it’s a national calamity or something of almost universal significance, the average interview has to be much shorter than that because you’ve got a full schedule of other items of interest to viewers and listeners. Thank you very much for those tips. And we’re going to come back in just a minute or so, and I’m going to talk with you about a particular guest that you once interviewed. She’s very much in our minds today, and I want to hear what your interview with Dolly Parton went like. Be back in just a few seconds.
Announcer: Do you wish you felt confident about giving speeches? Do you want to deal with difficult people constructively? And what about becoming more persuasive in sales? Then keep listening now to Dr. Bill Lampton. He spent 20 years in management, so he knows the communication skills you need for success. I urge you to call the Biz Communication Guy today for a no-cost, but very valuable, 30-minute discussion about your communication challenges. Call now: 678-316-4300. Again, that’s 678-316-4300.
Bill Lampton: Hi again. I’m Bill Lampton, the host of the Biz Communication Show, and our guest today is Diana Damron. Diana, many of us have had the opportunities to watch celebrities on television, in the movies, and other media. And practically every time we watch somebody who’s on camera and they absolutely glow and they shine and they’re so friendly and we just feel connection and camaraderie with them, but we’re probably always wondering: What is this person like in other situations, when the camera isn’t on, when the mic isn’t there, when they’re not on stage? And very recently, there has been worldwide recognition of the loss of Dolly Parton. And I know in your book that I read, you talked about interviewing her one time, so give us a picture, please, of what that was like.
Diana Damron: Probably my favorite professional interview ever. You know, I had interviewed a lot of people, and as you say, Bill, they’re one person in front of the camera—many of them are one person in front of the camera, and as soon as the lights go off, as soon as the camera is off, they’re indifferent, kind of condescending, kind of self-absorbed. And it was disappointing. It’s very disappointing to see, but you begin to see it so often that you just—you know that when you walk into the interview, that could happen. However, with Dolly Parton, I was assigned years ago, when I was anchoring in Sacramento, California, to cover her. She was in Sacramento in order to be the grand marshal of a 4th of July parade, and I was sent down and I interviewed her. Now, mind you, this is Sacramento, this is July, it’s hot. It’s super hot, and a lot of people don’t like that weather. And you know Dolly, I mean, she’s always glammed up. She just had a lot—you know, lots of weight, lots of—it’s got to be a lot hotter for her, for what she was wearing and everything. She was such a delight. She was smiling the entire time, and at the end of the interview, when fun and giggly, she asked if I wanted to join her and her band for lunch, and of course I jumped on it. And this was in Old Sacramento, and there was a hamburger dive, like a bar there, that that’s where she decided to go, you know, the peanuts-on-the-floor type of place. We sat down, so there’s the band, and there’s Dolly, and there’s myself, and she was the same person throughout the entire time. There was nothing about her that said, “Look at me; I should be the center of attention; I want anything special; I want my food handed to me specially; I expect to be served right away”. There was none of that. And you know, it’s not always convenient to be eating or to be speaking with people and all of a sudden strangers come up and ask you for an autograph, and obviously that happened over and over and over again with Dolly. And she was so charming. I learned so much about just the fact of no matter what this person looked like, what they handed her to sign—it could have been kind of a damp napkin, anything, they were just so excited to get her signature—and she’d look up at them and her focus was entirely on that person. There was absolutely nothing about her that was condescending, and she just made that person feel like a million dollars. And there was nothing condescending, nothing “treat me like a queen,” and she sure was a queen. But there was nothing in her that demanded that. She just—she was Dolly. She was so special. And so, yes, I always—whether writing, and I did a tribute to her on Facebook and I think on LinkedIn after she passed away, because she made such an impression. And by the way, she was even prettier in person than on camera.
Bill Lampton: I had a similar experience with an internationally known—happened to be a media mogul—during my previous career, there was a time that I hosted Charles Kuralt for the evening. And of course, Charles Kuralt, beloved for so many years by viewers, known so well for his On the Road series. And the main thing I noticed about Charles Kuralt was that when he came in, he immediately was one of us. And after meeting a few of us, he said, “I’ve got to walk out for a cigarette”. [Laughter] And so I walked out with him and we chatted. He greeted the people who were coming in for the program. When he stood to give the address that we had hired him for, nothing about him changed, and then there was a reception afterwards and I think many people stayed until midnight. It’s so refreshing. And on the contrary, I’ll tell you an interesting quip that I know of, that my brother has been a commercial airline pilot. And he said now and then a celebrity would come on and would want special treatment, and they would make that offensive statement, “Well, do you know who I am?” [Laughter] And my brother said there was one flight attendant who had to correct or instruct a celebrity passenger, and the passenger looked and said, “Do you know who I am?” And so the flight attendant went on the microphone and spoke to the entire passenger group and said, “I wonder if somebody can help us. We have somebody up here who doesn’t know who she is”. [Laughter] And that is—that is well—
Diana Damron: That’s great! That is marvelous! I love that.
Bill Lampton: Well-deserved feedback. Before we end this dynamic discussion—and it always is, I could call you “Dynamic Diana,” and I will—before we end it, all of us who are in the communication business have had some people along the way who we have relied on as role models, some we hired as coaches, some we have had as long-time mentors. And it doesn’t matter if we know the names you would mention, but are there two or three people who have been especially influential in your early television career, and in your professional speaking, and your writing career?
Diana Damron: To start off with, yes, my mom and dad.
Bill Lampton: God bless them.
Diana Damron: My dad was an engineer; my mom was an actress. So, you know, you have these two sides. And my mother, who had gone to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts—she had graduated from there before she went on stage—and she said one of the lessons that they really tried to drill into them was the importance of listening. And that was such an important skill. And I would see both with my dad and with her—I’m an only child, but I’d have friends who would come and they would spend—it was kind of like I was an afterthought, but they wanted to spend time with my mom and dad because my mom and dad would listen to them. And obviously, you’ve got an actress, you’ve got an engineer, they have totally different approaches, but they cared about that person and they spent the time, again, making them the star, listening to them. So I would say that they’re my primary mentors. I had a wonderful opportunity: I went up to New York to compete in a national modeling competition and started off doing some modeling, and it was not for me. [Laughter] It was a world that was just not for me. And I ended up working with a woman by the name of Dorothy Sarnoff, who at the time was considered the premiere speech coach in the country. And executives would go and talk to them, and then send their wives to talk to them—and this is at a time where so many the executives were men, not nearly so blended with men and women as today. But she gave me so many exercises, so much understanding of the power of our voice and the importance of our voice as an instrument. And I don’t think we realize that, and we miss so many opportunities, and we create problems for ourselves, and we create opportunities when we understand the power of the voice.
Bill Lampton: One of the phrases that I came up with a while back, Diana, to echo what you’re saying, and I use it quite often: We know many people who think that you network your way to the top or you speak your way to the top, and those do play a part. But I often say, and I often post, “Listen your way to the top”. And it brings me back to something that Larry King said. Larry King hosted over 7,000 shows, and Larry King said that the best advice that he could give was that let the guest be the one who does the most talking. And it’s fascinating how great listeners—and I remember my father, you mentioned your parents, I remember my father was incredibly keen on listening, and so I thank you for that. Diana, this has been so fascinating. We’ve got, let’s say, a minute and a half or so. How would you pull together what you’d like to leave with our podcast viewers and listeners?
Diana Damron: You know, Bill, I have found that if I have a goal of leaving a person in a better place than where I found them, I have found that’s made such a difference in their lives, which in turn affects my life. So, and I learned this on a trip that was supposed to take two days, and it was a flight that took five days. And it was one thing right after another, and I’ve got a short temper [laughter], I’m kind of an impatient person, and I started thinking about that, and that just changes behavior and that changes your experience and it helps so much that other person.
Bill Lampton: That delay certainly did test your patience, I’m sure. Please give us your contact information. I know there are those who would like to follow up with you.
Diana Damron: Absolutely. Obviously, I have a website, dianadamron.com. And I’m new to the YouTube world. It’s kind of like television, except that I don’t have my producer, director, and I’m having to figure it out all by myself, and the tech is interesting. So I would love to ask your viewers to join me over at YouTube. It’s Diana Damron over there, and it’s “Stand Out, Speak Up, and Step Into Your Brilliant Self”. Thank you so much, Bill, for giving me that opportunity to share that information.
Bill Lampton: I will be checking in on that and subscribing myself.
Diana Damron: Thank you!
Bill Lampton: Thank you for your contact information. I want to share mine as well, starting in fact with my YouTube channel, which is Bill Lampton, Ph.D. I noticed recently, Diana, that while you were on television all these years, I’ve been on YouTube; I started in 2007. Now, I do not want people to look at those early YouTube videos. [Laughter] So I encourage you to subscribe to my YouTube channel, and you will find that every episode of the Biz Communication Show is on there, which means, of course, that you have many tips and strategies on communication from experts and leaders that I have been privileged to be with. So I encourage you to subscribe. And my website, since my tagline is Biz Communication Guy, my website is bizcommunicationguy.com. And while you’re on the website, you can subscribe to my podcast, which I encourage you to do. Also would welcome phone calls from those of you who want to expand your expertise in communication: initial call, just a conversation with no investment on your part, and that number is 678-316-4300. I don’t want to close without giving attention and credit to my longtime mentor, Mike Stewart. Mike and I began working together in 1996, when all this stuff about the internet was new. And Mike Stewart, based in Nashville, has kept up and stayed ahead of every item that you and I can benefit from. And his website: localinternetpresence.com. Diana Damron, again, it has been such a privilege to host you—
Diana Damron: Thank you, Bill. This has been wonderful. Thank you.
Bill Lampton: Thank you so much for sharing your communication expertise, and we look forward to when you’re going to be with us again. So keep that calendar handy, please.
Diana Damron: Thank you! Thank you so much!
Bill Lampton: Have a good day, and we invite those of you who have benefited from this show to be with us next week for another edition of the Biz Communication Show. I’m your host, Bill Lampton, the Biz Communication Guy.
