Bill Lampton Ph.D. 0:15
Hi there, welcome to the best communication Show. I’m your host Bill Lampton the biz communication guy, bringing you tips and strategies that will boost your business. Because my guests and I are going to share winning words with you. I’m delighted to welcome Terry Wildemann today. Terry comes to us from the Rhode Island part of the United States. She’s a business and leadership expert, coach and speaker. She has over 30 years of experience in the field of personal and professional development, Terry is known for her holistic approach to leadership and her emphasis on the importance of intuition and decision making. She believes that by tapping into their intuition, individuals can make more informed and successful choices, and we’ll be eager to hear from her about that. Terry is the founder and CEO of intuitive leadership, a company that specializes in teaching individuals and organizations, how to lead with intuition, clarity, and purpose. She is also the author of two solo books, and seven co authored books. Terry Weldon has delivered keynote speeches and presentations at events and the United States and the United Kingdom. She is also a member of the Women’s speaker association. So I know that you join me in welcoming Terry Wilson them into the abyss communication show Hello, Terry.
Terry Wildemann 1:52
Hello, Bill, how are you?
Bill Lampton Ph.D. 1:55
I am just delighted to host you. And you and I have talked before about how we got acquainted. We got acquainted through this book that you wrote. And that’s not your picture. No, I know, your your picture is on the back cover there. And this book, one 800 Courtesy was about telephone courtesy. So that’s really where I’d like for us to start, says 1999 when that book was published, I was very happy to read it and review it. And I look back through it today. Since that time, the telephone world, as we know has changed so much. We know the word landline is practically out of our vocabulary. And the fact that that the telephone courtesy that you taught then, would it apply today. And so I’m curious, if someone were to say to you, as I’m saying now, Terry, what are the best tips that you can give us about contemporary telephone courtesy?
Terry Wildemann 3:07
Well, you know, first of all, that that book was published in 1998. Hey, so you and I connected just after the book was published? That’s right. It’s hard to believe that oh, my gosh. I wouldn’t say cuz several people have said to me recently, Tara, you need to rewrite that book, it needs to be out there. And as like, I don’t know if I have the energy for that. But we just say we’ll say one of the biggest and most important phrases that is in that book is to and remember that how you answer the phone is the equivalent to shaking hands with someone you just met.
Bill Lampton Ph.D. 3:50
And that’s a good way to put it very good way to put it
Terry Wildemann 3:53
at play. So that was one of the big statements that I wrote in there that has really stuck with me. And the the foundational pieces that are in there are really the same. A lot of our younger folks don’t know how to work with the phone because everything is on an iPad or online or whatever. They don’t really understand how to connect with the other side. No more today than they did before. The difference is that we have our heads in our phones all the time. So we’re lacking that in person communication piece. And the phone still is a barrier yet your body language, your tone of voice and the words that you choose truly make a difference. So when you answer the phone with a very positive message with a very positive energy, like I said, it’s so similar to giving somebody a really good powerful handshake when you first meet them.
Bill Lampton Ph.D. 4:58
I’m curious There are professional sales leaders who talk a lot about the efficiency and the effectiveness of cold calls. I’ve got a great friend, Matthew Lambros, who has written books on the topic, and he has done a lot of training on it. I’m curious, today we’re, we’re bombarded by so many messages. So what what is your opinion about cold calling?
Terry Wildemann 5:29
Well, I’ve never been a fan of cold calling ever.
Bill Lampton Ph.D. 5:33
Nor have I, nor have I, I’m not
Terry Wildemann 5:36
good at it. It doesn’t make me feel good. But what I do like is, if somebody if I go to a networking event, and I hand somebody a business card, and few people have said to me, oh, business cards are passe, oh, I beg to differ with you. There is nothing like being able to hold a card in your hand, that tactical kinesthetic feeling of holding that card and being able to read it. And the Japanese, it’s an art with the Japanese, You better read that card when they hand it to you.
Bill Lampton Ph.D. 6:05
And yes, that’s, that’s a formality with the Japanese is it really, really is.
Terry Wildemann 6:09
And the beautiful thing with the with getting a business card is I can then go back home. And yes, it may be in my phone. And yes, we can change things or whatever, you know, you can send things via Wi Fi to one another and on and on. But there’s something special about reading that card and entering the information, it sticks in my brain. So what I like to do then is with permission, I add them to my newsletter with permission, that’s very important. And then from there, maybe send them a quiz, which actually call the scorecard. If you’re interested in I’d like to give you as a gift. Here’s the scorecard, see where you are because one of the areas I specialize in stress management for leaders, and they fill out the scorecard, that gives me an avenue to be able to connect with them. So it is the follow up to networking. It is difficult, it is a gift. And it is it opens the door and softens things in stead of just a cold call. Because I don’t know about you. But if I didn’t recognize the number on my phone, it doesn’t get picked up. It goes to voicemail. So if you can’t leave me a voicemail, you lost me.
Bill Lampton Ph.D. 7:27
It’s astonishing how many calls we get. One of the categories that amazes me just yesterday, I got a call. I didn’t recognize the number they left a voicemail. And the voicemail said that very good news, I had been approved for a $500,000 loan all the time to Yes, it’s something like 4% or whatever. And call me back immediately. I would venture that I get probably maybe 15 to 20 calls like that a month and like you if I don’t recognize the number, why would I answer it. And that’s not discourtesy. It’s not discourtesy, because if someone really wants to talk with me, my services, have a professional conversation, they’ll leave a voice message along that line. And one of the things I would say about cold calls Terry, when I first started as an entrepreneur, I can remember the first four to six months, I think, I didn’t know any better. So I just started cold calling unlike many people who do cold calling. And those days, 20 years ago, we we really didn’t know how to go about acquiring new clients. And so I spent probably six months calling people I didn’t know and telling them how fortunate they would be to have my services. And I’ve, I’ve said at the end of that six months, the only thing I got was an inferiority complex. And also a larger phone bill at the time.
Terry Wildemann 9:22
Yes, at the time, yes. Because it was very expensive in those days.
Bill Lampton Ph.D. 9:26
That’s right, but cold calls No. Now another factor that I think we could also mention, and this is not our only topic, but to me, it’s it’s so important in the professional image and that’s one thing that you key in on So, so long and so well. And that is where and how and when we make our phone calls. How many times Terry, you you travel immensely as a professional speaker. How many times do you get off your flight, you get onto the transportation bus back to the airport. And several people pick up their phone and start calling their office. And my impression always is, look, we know you got a business, you don’t have to tell us how many people you are acquiring are how many offices you have, would that be one rule of thumb is to make these calls after you get in the airport. I mean, that’s for and there are many traveling professionals who might be hearing this now.
Terry Wildemann 10:35
To be blunt, if you need to call your office, and you need to talk with them at the airport, go to a space where you don’t have a lot of people around you. One, there was one scenario and I’ll never forget this, as long as I live in actually I was at an expo was in an airport, I was at an expo. And there was a break of some kind at the Expo. And there was a woman behind the table at the edge at the booth in front of me. And because I had one booth on one side, she had the booth on the other. And I sat there listening to her she was in the healthcare field. I sat there listening to her in a loud voice, talk with somebody on the other side about a case. I could at that time, Monday morning, remember what it was about. But I could tell you everything that she said, That was about a patient on the other side. And frankly, I went up to her afterwards. And I said, Do you realize that and HIPAA was just really coming in into vogue, you know, the laws were really coming in at that time. So do you realize that you have just released all the information on that client to somebody who has no business hearing it, no one here has any business knowing what it is that you just said about that patient. And that’s one of the things that I think it’s important that we recognize is we’re you know, we sound is a big deal. And we are on overload with sound we are in overload with with stuff. And I don’t need to hear or listen to somebody else’s conversation about what’s going on in their office or what. Because let me tell you, there are times I listen to some of these things. And as a communication leadership trainer, I sit there going, Oh my God, I want to jump in and do some coaching right there. And of course I don’t, but still, it drives me to distraction, because it’s a lack of awareness and consciousness of the people who are around you. And that tells me an awful lot, especially if the person is in the role of leadership or management, which you can end up discerning when they’re just a few minutes into the call. So if that’s a leader, or you know, a manager, who is doing that kind of thing that says to me, I wonder what they’re like in the office.
Bill Lampton Ph.D. 13:04
Very good points. And I, I You remind me so vividly an incident when my wife and I were traveling, and we were staying in a small hotel. And so the breakfast area the next morning was rather small. Not far from us at the breakfast area was a lady who did exactly what I’ve referred to a couple of minutes ago. She called and she got on her cell phone, in a room with maybe 20 people so that everybody could hear her. And she called her offices in several different cities. Now, as far as I know, she didn’t do anything, giveaway anything confidential, which is the incident you gave talking about a patient the most, what should be the most private, the most confidential item of all and to do that where other people could hear that. And I’m commend you for confronting her. So we did the same thing. The at the end of the breakfast, my wife walked over to the lady and said something to the effect. Do you realize nobody in this room wanted to hear your conversation? My wife went on up to the room, and I’m sure she was curious what my follow up would be and I did the same thing to the lady. Why don’t you make those phone calls private? We’re not all that impressed with the the business acumen that you seem to want us to know. Oh, that’s a great part of courtesy there. And I’m want to underscore what you said Terry about. I’ve never heard it before it may be original with you. That that that when we start a phone call. That is just like a handshake with somebody. So that’s that’s wonderful. Terry And Intuit intuitive leadership is what I would call your brand. And so in just a few seconds, we’re going to talk about that be back with you in just a couple of seconds.
Speaker 3 15:15
Do you wish you felt competent about giving speeches? Do you want to deal with difficult people constructively? And what about becoming more persuasive and sales, then keep listening now to Dr. Bill Lampton, he spent 20 years in management, so he knows the communication skills you need for success. I urge you to call the biz communication guide today for a no call, but very valuable. 30 minute discussion about your communication challenges. Call now. 678-316-4300. Again, that’s 678-316-4300.
Bill Lampton Ph.D. 15:56
Terry Weldon is our guest on the biz communication show today, an event that I’ve looked forward to for a long time, a real opportunity to hear from an acknowledged expert, and again, an acknowledged expert, who truly cares for her clients, her customers, her colleagues, her teammates, and in my experience, anybody she meets. Today, I mentioned before the break that intuitive leadership is virtually your brand. So I want us to explore that. Now many of us when we hear the word intuition, and this would include me, when we hear the the word intuition, there’s another word that comes to mind, hunch, just something that happened to pop into our mind. And should we act on it? Or should we not? Is it just coincidence? We thought of this. So please expand for us what you mean, what you teach what you coach, what you speak about, about intuitive leadership?
Terry Wildemann 17:07
Well, you know, all of us are intuitive to one point or another. And we see things. This is the psychic ability, we hear words, that’s the audio, you just know things. Or you feel things. And we all have those gifts. Some of us trust it more than others. Thus, we tap into it more than others. And our intuition. It’s something that when how many, how many times have you not listened to it, and you live to regret it because I know, Bill, you and I have talked about that in the past. You know, you don’t listen to that gut feeling. You don’t listen to this idea that keeps coming in, then bam, somebody else is doing it and you didn’t listen to it. It happens all the time. And to give you an idea, when 800 courtesy, that was when my intuitive gifts were just really starting to rise to the surface. And that book, believe it or not, I would be woken up at two or three o’clock in the morning. And I will put my hands on the keyboard. And the words, the very practical words that are in that book, were literally brought through me through my fingertips onto the screen. And I wouldn’t remit and I would just go into deep meditation and the words just came out at this very practical book. your sleeping habits
Bill Lampton Ph.D. 18:29
are very different from mine. If you can generate ideas at two to three in the morning,
Terry Wildemann 18:35
it well it wasn’t me that was generating my point, as the book was already written. It just came through me. And I literally and I was really struggling with it. And this is where the intuitive and the spiritual stuff comes in. For me. I was really, really struggling with it. I was studying to be a Reiki Master at the time, it was 1996 97 I was given permission by my doctor to study Reiki, by the way, because after seven major surgeries, he’s like, I don’t know what this stuff is. But I give you full permission to study it because I have nothing else in my toolkit to help you. Like Thank you very much. I’m gonna study this stuff. And I started studying this stuff. And
Bill Lampton Ph.D. 19:10
you Excuse me a minute. What is the Ricky that you’re talking?
Terry Wildemann 19:15
Rei que? Yes, energy healing. It’s a form of energy. And it comes through your hands. And you tune into the energy and it actually helps to heal. Whatever it is that whoever it is that you’re working on. And I’ve gotten so sensitive, I’ve had to get away from doing hands on healing, because I take on other people’s stuff. You don’t want to go there. I’m too empathic. So I keep I keep it all at a distance. And that was the beginning. That was the beginning and this is part of the intuitive leadership thing. That was the beginning of my studying holistic modalities to assist me to heal myself, heal myself, because I was a physical mental animal. Emotional mess, because I was sick all the time, it was really hard. And it was the beginning of learning different modalities that allowed me to become to heal myself and become very grounded and very centered. Thus, that’s where the intuitive leadership part comes in. Because I work with entrepreneurs and leaders, and guide them to integrate the practical, tactical and logical with the emotional, the energetic, the spiritual, and the intuitive look at where I’m sitting. I’ve got the spiritual on this side. And I’ve got the very practical, tactical and logical on the side with my books, and I see it right smack in the middle. So my clients call me the intuitive truth detective because I can get to the source of the emotional self sabotage that gets in the way of their success of crossing over the finish line and grabbing the gold. And so all of the different modalities, one on top of the other kept landing in my lap and kept landing in my lap. And it’s, it’s one thing I’m like, Okay, here’s the next tool I meant to be using. So I know what tool to use with what person in order to maximize their success.
Bill Lampton Ph.D. 21:10
Let’s imagine that I were to come to you and say, Terry, I, I really am struggling, I’m struggling in several ways. I’m my my personal life is not what I want it to be. And definitely I’m not achieving professionally what I want. And I’ve heard about what you can do for professional people. What would be your first steps with me? Well, the first
Terry Wildemann 21:38
thing we would do is a discovery call. And I would start asking, What have you done in the past? What is going on in the future? What are your goals? What are your dreams, authored all the typical questions that that a coach would ask, I’m a certified coach, I’m a certified executive coach, certified coactive. Coach, I’m a certified stress management coach. So asking powerful questions are the very first thing to get a clearer picture of what is going on with the individual. After I do that, then I get into the physical and emotional side and say, Okay, what are the aches and pains? Where did the illnesses that kind of thing because guess what? Science has shown that close to 98% of our physical stuff is triggered by emotional challenges. I couldn’t believe it. So people will come to me in there start telling me all their emotional all the physical aches and pains. And I can conceive immediately where the the blocks may be. For example, I issues what do you not want to see hearing issues? What do you not want to hear shoulders, what do you need to release that you’re carrying, you’re shouldering a heart issues is often about self love, or loving others loving too much. Lungs are about breathing, giving yourself the opportunity to breathe. Lungs are also about grief, grief, teeth, the fingers and toes are about the details of life. knees, hips are about and ankles and feet are about moving forward. So there’s all these different things. And I’ve got a big, big book, which I don’t know where it is right now. Like it’s downstairs, unfortunately, that has in there, all the different champ physical challenges that a person may have, and the questions to ask in regards to those challenges. And it gives me an idea of where to start and where to go and clearing out a lot of the subconscious stuff that gets in the way of their success. And what happens with the leadership, what happens with their communications, what happens with their health, is everything exponentially starts to improve and build on it and improve. It’s like an onion. Okay, so say that there’s an event that happens, okay, and event habit, you’ve come to me, and you can’t cross the finish line. And I discover that there are specific there’s a pattern, every single time you get across the finish line, there’s a pattern. And through the act of discovery, I figure out that something happened when you were on stage in grammar school. And we look at that entire edge that entire scenario. And I start to clear out the aches and pains and all the sadness around that specific event. And it’s like, oh my god, I can breathe. And they have been holding on to that for all of those years. And they can begin to breathe because we clear out that emotional trauma. And the next time they get up to speak, bam. They knock it out of the park.
Bill Lampton Ph.D. 24:55
This is fascinating, fascinating. Wonderful. So I need deskew you mentioned you had had several major surgeries earlier in life. Yes, yes. Once you discovered what you had been describing to us has that had a vast upward swing and your healthiness?
Terry Wildemann 25:18
I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been in my entire life. It absolutely. Every day I use that every day, I use the same tools that I use for my own clients. Okay, it’s, it’s important because people say, Oh, well, you know, because I’m certified in Emotion Code and Body Code, any FTM, no, Pam certified, and all these things, who cares? It’s the results that I get. And when you do this for yourself, because we’re human things happen every single day. And I don’t have the emotional reactions that I used to have when I was when I was in my 20s, and my 30s. And even in my 40s, and 50s, all of that, yes, I’m getting up there. Now, it’s, I’ve never felt so granted and healthy and focused. Because every day, it’s another layer that comes off, we’re onions, each and every one of us. And that event that happened in grammar school for that client, it’s an onion, imagine an onion, we cleared out one of the layers. Other things that may happen, other things may happen, that it’s like a diamond and but lots of facets and onion, lots of layers, you know, similar things. And we think it’s all over, oh my god, great, I cleared out that onion, it’s gone. And all of a sudden another crop of onions show up. It’s like really where human things happen. They just as you keep healing this stuff and clearing it all out. It’s just not as intense as it used to be. And you get healthier and healthier and mind, body and spirit.
Bill Lampton Ph.D. 26:58
You remind me so much of of what I have learned through a lot of decades of living. And that is that there is many of us need to recognize as you as you, as you tell your clients, many of us need to recognize that there’s a vast, impactful direct connection between our thoughts and our love, even our physical being and certainly our professional production.
Terry Wildemann 27:27
You know, when in 2001, September 1 of 2001, I opened up the winter change, holistic education and leadership center and the leadership center for nine years. We all know what happened a few days after that. Yes. And I was the first flight into San Francisco, on my way to the HeartMath Institute to get certified in working with Heart Math. So I’m a certified coach. And at one point, I was also a certified trainer, when it came to taking this stuff into school into schools. And as much as I understood Reiki, I never got the connection before Heart Math, which landed in my lap, after one of the emergency surgeries that I had had the booklet and then in my lap, and I learned about the connection with the brain in the head and the brain in the heart. When you connect the brain in the head with the brain in the heart, you create such a powerful connection, that you can become very coherent in how you think, feel and act, the brain, the energy in the brain, the energy field of the brain is two inches, the energy field of the heart can be measured six to 10 feet away from the body in a 360 degree circumference. So in teaching entrepreneurs starting in 2001, about how to connect with the heart, how to shift from here to here. It allowed them I was able to teach them how to improve their decision making, how to go work with the head for the practical decisions that needed to be made around a project. But when they connected from the head to the heart, they got the emotional aspects of what needed to be done. And then they were able to completely integrate again, what I was saying the practical tactical and logical with the emotional, the energetic and the spiritual. And the project took on an energy that would have never it would have never had because they were able to see things from 360 degree circumference. And every person on the team was able to look at the project from a different aspect and bring so much juiciness to the table on that project that they were able to thrive in ways that they never could before. So the power of shifting from the head into The heart is just something that is magnificent. And you can actually measure the heart rate variability using different finger tools that are available right now. And you can see where you go from super stressed, super out of, you know, out of it because you get so much on your plate. And when you take a moment and shift into the heart, and I have a technique called the quick shift that just goes from here to here. It is amazing how everything comes down and you can actually see things differently.
Bill Lampton Ph.D. 30:34
I can see why you use the word holistic. What a fascinating conversation, Terry, and so enlightening and so uplifting. I know that there are our viewers and our podcast listeners who will want to contact you. So please give us your contact information.
Terry Wildemann 30:55
Well, you can learn more about me at my website intuitive leadership.com It’s powered by shift ology the art and science of intentional and impactful change. And you can send me an email at Terry at intuitive leadership.com.
Bill Lampton Ph.D. 31:10
And now, thank you for that, I’m quite confident you’re going to have some response. And if I if I were a person who were hearing you for the first time, I would be checking on how to follow up with you. And now that you’ve given your contact information, I will give mine my YouTube channel is and this video appears there. Along with other instructional videos that I’ve been posting, I think there are 450 of them now, in recent years. Those videos include not only my instruction but enlightening conversations, such as the one we’re having today with prominent business communication specialists that I’m fortunate enough to host and were all fortunate enough to learn from. So I invite you to subscribe to my YouTube channel while you’re there my website as the biz communication guy, my website logically is biz. Biz, biz communication guy.com certainly after you’ve reviewed my services for corporations and leaders, give me a call and we’ll talk about how you have communication challenges and problems and how it can assist you with them. Tape what closing thoughts would you have to pull this together for us?
Terry Wildemann 32:41
Well, first of all, I love to give your audience a free gift, which is they can download the stress management piece I was talking about at quick shift zone.com quick shift Shi of t zone.com. Free e guide on helping you in 60 seconds to reduce your stress levels. And when remember what he said about connecting the brain in the head with the brain in the heart. Always trust your heart. Always trust your intuition. Even you know those little pride things those little niggles there’s a reason that they’re there, ask the open ended questions to get you closer to the answers that you really are seeking.
Bill Lampton Ph.D. 33:22
Thank you for that gem of wisdom and so many others thanks to those of you who joined us on video and on the podcast on the biz communication show. We’re very grateful that tear Weldon could be with us today. Join us for the next biz communication show. We’d love to have you with us so that you can get as I will. business tips and strategies that will boost your business because you get winning words and ways. I’m Bill Lampton the beers communication guy
Transcribed by https://otter.ai