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Bill Lampton Ph.D.
Hi there, welcome to the best communication Show. I’m your host, Bill Lampton the biz communication guy, bringing you communication tips and strategies that will boost your business. And do that through a lively conversation with a highly qualified business professional and today, coming to us from Fayetteville, Georgia. Darlene Drew. Darlene is the CEO and owner of leadership conditioning, personal impression professional development. She’s also a certified and independent leadership trainer, professional speaker, and executive coach with the Maxwell leadership team. Darlene serves businesses, companies and organizations by helping leaders develop leaders. Darlene drew retired from the Bureau of Prisons with 32 years of service, one of her most groundbreaking accomplishments was becoming the first and the only woman to serve as warden of the United States Penitentiary in Atlanta, Georgia. Darlene also served as warden of three federal prisons after being told early on in her career, you won’t make it. Her guiding leadership principle is don’t teach what you don’t know. Don’t lead where you won’t go. Don’t ask for what you won’t give. So I know that you’ll join me in welcoming Darlene Drew. Hello, Darlene.
Darlene Drew
Hi, how are you? I’m so excited to be here with you.
Bill Lampton Ph.D.
Well, it’s great to have you here on the best communication show you and I have been acquainted, as many people are on LinkedIn for quite a while we’ve exchanged ideas and comments. And I definitely knew for quite a long time that you would be a highly stimulating and informative guest on the biz communication show. So I’m happy, we were able to work that out. And the introduction, I mentioned what’s probably an extremely unique fact about you, not only among the guests on this show, but just among the general population that you served 32 years, and the prison system and you were the first and to date only woman warden of the Atlanta penitentiary. Now, this brings me to the topic that is very important in business communication. That’s a topic of stereotypes. Because certainly when you began your work in the prison system, there were stereotypes about what you should be doing, where you belong, and where you couldn’t go. You shattered that stereotype. Tell us please. What you experienced about that at the beginning. And it’s important for us to know, how did you overcome this image people had of what and who a warden should be, and you succeeded not only there, but elsewhere as well. So give us that insight, please.
Darlene Drew
Sure. Well, I love that question. Because I love the opportunity to to really explain it. So when I first started as a correctional officer, the truth of the matter is, I wasn’t prepared for that question. I wasn’t prepared for some of the obstacles that I would encounter. I expected some challenges. But I wasn’t prepared for all that came my way in terms of the questions that you cited. Being told that you won’t make it I was told that at the very onset, and managed to push through that. But then there were other questions. Why are you here? That was a question that was asked more than once in the course of my career, even as I promoted up it was still that question being asked and the expectation that I wouldn’t make it so the first part of it for me in encountering that question was to process it. I had some self talk and respond to it and take the position that I will make it and I do belong here and there is a purpose for me here. And the best way to demonstrate it was through performance to get up every single day and fulfill my responsibility, which first started out as a young correctional officer. And at the time, I didn’t know for sure that it would be a career because it was, it was a task to convince my parents at the time to even give me the blessing to work in a prison. And then I got it started working. And I thought it would be for short term, because I actually anticipated going to law school. But something changed inside of me while I was working in prison, I found my place there, I found my purpose, despite the challenges, the questions and the assertions that were made. And as a result of continuing to do the work continuing to stay focused, continuing to believe that this is where I belong, then I began to excel and to move up and assume positions of increased responsibility from a young correctional officer up to assuming that position as warden and the three assignments that you described.
Bill Lampton Ph.D.
That’s well stated. And I think it’s a great lesson for all of us in the first place is a lesson that we should not let others decide who or one we’re going to be, we should not let others determine our limits. And then, of course, I think your your lesson about breaking through this stereotype is valuable. For every one of us, I’ll give a couple of personal examples, all of us face stereotypes, and we need to realize that and determine what to do about it. And it’s an important communication step for us both professionally and personally. One example, Darlene, would be that I am an identical twin. And growing up, my twin brother and I had parents who sort of cuddled us as twins, we were dressed alike, and we really did not have our own identity. And, and the perception that people had of us was, these two being identical twins are exactly alike. Look, they dress alike. And so they must think about them a second light fact is that we had very different interest, we had very different directions. And professionally, our directions have been polar opposites. And then I will give you another example of a stereotype I had to overcome. I grew up in, in the Deep South, and I did my graduate work and Ohio. Now you can imagine when I went to Ohio, as a very young graduate student, and I came from a state and the Deep South, there were there was an assumption, there was a perception that I would have the prejudices, the biases, and the exclusion factors that were well known for my region of the country, I had to demonstrate. And I did it genuinely. And authentically, I had to demonstrate that maybe there were other people and that rich and who had those feelings, but I didn’t. So far, every one of us listening to the best communication show today. Or watching it on a YouTube, let’s I would challenge you to look at stereotypes that people have placed on you, and they are there naturally. And to to use darlings example, where she said two things that are very important here, and maybe more but one is, she said she got up every day to do the best that she could. And the second thing was that she proved them wrong. So this itself is a what I would call a nugget and the the biz communication show today. Darlene the next thing I’d like to ask you is you said that, of course when you started out, you recognize there was so much you needed to know, which is true with all of us whether we recognize it or not. Were there any early role models, many of us have role models, we have mentors, we have coaches and of course, that’s what you do professionally. Now. Were there any one or two individuals that you either knew are respected very highly that became those role models for you?
Darlene Drew
Yes, I had several are role models in the course of, of my career. And I like to speak to a few of them. Some of them started very early on in my life. And this allows me to add to the first question that you asked me in terms of overcoming those battles. And one of the things that I did was I call it application and demonstration. And I learned that through one of my role models, and it may not be a surprise to too many people who are listening, and that was my mom. I’m the youngest of 11. Children. Yes, you did hear me say 11. I’m the youngest of 11 children, I had the benefit of a stay at home mom, my dad worked two jobs throughout the course of his life. And what my parents taught us was to work, right. And so with that comes application and demonstration, I understood that and had to apply that as I moved to the position of Warden, to the box, some of those stereotypes and struggles. So it began first with my mom, but I also had going back to school, most of us have the benefit of a great teacher, and everyone loves a teacher who loves them, and who sees value in them. So I had the experience of that a teacher that was just the epitome of caring for her students. As I moved into my career, I had the benefit of a mentor who had been where I was going, she had gone through the challenges of being a female in a correctional environment, and was able to withstand all of those obstacles. So I really took note of how she showed up and how she presented herself and how she engaged people and how she seized opportunities to really demonstrate to people her skill set, and how it took a broader picture other than a singular thought of this is how things should be. And I learned from her and probably, I would be remiss if I didn’t say so many things that I learned from my grandmother. Because as I was going through that process, there were many times that I needed someone to bid to, once my parents pass, but I still have my grandmother and I would talk to her she was 93 year old at the time. And I tell her about the challenges that I was facing. So imagine your 93 year old grandmother listening to you complain about challenges in your life, and she had been through things in life that were just impossible for me to imagine. And she would always say that it may not be easy, but it’s worth it. You stay doing what you’re called to do, and it will work out you have to continue to demonstrate excellence and do the work because that was certainly another quality that our parents taught all 11 of us how to work, how to work hard and how to show up. And that was something that I demonstrated every day in my career. And it just kept me continuing growing and also the opportunity to not only be mentored, but also to mentor other staff as well.
Bill Lampton Ph.D.
It’s an amazing background I had read. And some of the information you sent me about your being one of 11 children. It’s It’s remarkable the parental guidance that your head the support, and then you’re quite overly grandmother that support and each of us. In fact, I think of one of the one of the most famous writers today, he’s written many books, and he said, One thing’s for sure that not any one of us makes it alone, not rockstars not not people who are brilliant, and the technology industry, no actors, no athletes, nobody really makes it alone. And you and I are fortunate. I remember one of the one of the role models that I had, who encouraged me so much was my major professor and my graduate studies and I fortunately remained friends with him for the rest of his life. And then also I have two marketing and tech guys, who since 1997 have worked with me and have taken me through everything new that has come along. And I’ll have to admit that I was dragged kicking and screaming into the technology era because I had I had 20 years in management and always had somebody to delegate technology to and all of a sudden there I was alone and then 1996 When all of us started hearing about this thing the internet and you maybe sending each other emails, I found two marvelous pioneers really, who were at the forefront of the movement, and who did their best to keep up and even stay ahead of what was happening and to teach fortunate people like me. So an important lesson here too, is to develop your skills, and particularly your communication skills. We’re a people who help us to do that. Darlene speaking of communication, and your teaching of leadership, you teach communication principles. And in just a few seconds, we’ll come back, and we’ll talk about the communication principles that you teach to your clients.
Do you wish you felt confident about giving speeches? Do you want to deal with difficult people constructively? And what about becoming more persuasive and sales, then keep listening now to Dr. Bill Lampton, he spent 20 years in management, so he knows the communication skills you need for success? I urge you to call the best communication guide today for a no call, but very valuable 30 minute discussion about your communication challenges. Call now. 678-316-4300. Again, that’s 678-316-4300.
Bill Lampton Ph.D.
We’re here with Darlene drew on the biz communication show, I’m your host, Bill Lampton the biz communication guy, and just before that short break, Darlene, I mentioned that with your many clients speaking, coaching, consulting, you teach many communication principles. Describe for us please, two or three communication principles that your clients learn, through your teaching, coaching and speaking. Absolutely.
Darlene Drew
The first step stands out, that’s really something that I’m very passionate about with communication. And this is this was a essential working in a prison setting. And that is connecting, right the law of connecting and all that what it entails the ability to identify and relate to people. So when we take the time to not only just have small talk with the person, but also just really taking the time to lean in, so that that person feels like you get me that you understand that everything, and working in a prison setting. It’s not walking around with munitions, it’s about communicating with people demonstrating that I hear you, I see you, I’m listening to you. So that’s one of the values and in communicating, connecting another is preparation, working period and emphasizing the importance of it that people be prepared. That’s something that I actually learned from my parents that I learned from my grandmother, we were taught, as I said before, the importance of work. And so when you’re communicating, when you’re speaking, when you’re training someone, it’s not enough to desire to be good. It’s important to do the work, do the work, even when you’re at the top of your field. When we think about the greatest of the greats, what did they continue to do? They continued practicing, and they continue to prepare every single time. And then last but not least, I would say, the law of adding value, I believe, and I’ve been taught and mentored to see every single person as a person of value. And when we are received in that matter, as a human being that someone recognizes that I am as important as they are. When we live it, we believe it and we demonstrate it, then it resonates with people in a very genuine way. And I think when that happens, it puts us on the position to connect, to build relationship and to be successful and what we desire to do. But we have to never forget the importance of preparation and that being doing the work.
Bill Lampton Ph.D.
Bouncing off what you said about listening and the prison system. I have mentioned to you before that when I was a faculty member at the University of Georgia, they had an extension program that taught the regular undergraduate curriculum to inmates and the Atlanta federal penitentiary. I remember the day that a notice came to my desk from the department heads saying that they wanted someone from the Speech Communication Department to teach one summer and the Atlanta federal penitentiary. I’m telling you Darlene that that piece of paper did not stay on my desk very long, I picked it up, I ran to the department chair, I said, I want to do this. And after I had been with a group a couple of weeks, I did what you have just talked about, and that is I listen to them. By that time I had, I believe gained their confidence. And so I asked each one of them and I said, this is voluntary. But if you would like to write your story and a page or two, I would like to have that so I could get to know you better. And it was, it was wonderful how the response came from that, Aye. Aye, all 31 inmates in that class is I remember, turned in a paper not to be graded. But it just demonstrated that I was willing to listen. And as you know, from that point on, I, I definitely had their connection. And they realized that that I was there on a human side is as well as on a faculty side. Time for one more question. And that would be you are John Maxwell certified as a trainer, we have a few seconds, tell us something that that enables you to do and what do you teach as a result of that?
Darlene Drew
Okay, well, thank you for that. What I’m really passionate about may not surprise you is leadership. Having worked in prisons, having worked in some of the most difficult and tough circumstances, I understand the importance of being able to lead and to being able to lead well. And I believe and what my career has shown me working 32 and a half years and a leadership capacity at different levels, of course, is that everyone wants a leader who leads well, everyone wants a leader who sees the value in them that connects with them. And so I believe that my purpose on this planet is to help leaders do exactly that. I know what it’s like to have so many different responsibilities, so many challenges that leaders face. And that’s where I come in, to embrace their vision and what they’re designed to do for their organizations where they don’t have to worry about it, where I partner with them, and stand in their stead by carrying out the vision that they have. And ensuring that their staff get are getting the necessary essentials, to make sure that they do the things that they need to do and that they’re growing and contributing to the organization themselves as well as their own career.
Bill Lampton Ph.D.
One point, I believe it would be good for our viewers and listeners to know, Darlene said at the outset of this conversation, that she worked hard, and that she did what seemed could not be done. So I believe it’d be good for our viewers and listeners to know that we had a heck of a time starting this recording because the invitation that I sent her did not work. And some potential guests might have said Well too bad. Good luck and have had fun with her guests next week. But not Darlene. She’s stuck with it. And we were on the phone trying to figure out what to do. And next thing you know, we had it worked. I think that that symbolizes pretty well why? A part of why she has become in many ways a trailblazer. Some an iconoclastic person is a big word. And somebody who has said, as her motto indicates, don’t tell me I can’t do it. Just Just get out of the way and watch me do it. Darling, this has been so fascinating and so intriguing and so helpful. I know that our viewers and listeners will want your contact information. So please share that with us now.
Darlene Drew
Absolutely. You can reach me if you are reaching me by phone and my number is 256-283-9205. If you’re reaching me by website, you will find me at www dot John Maxwell group.com/darlene Drew and then if you wanted to reach me by email, then you can reach me at Darlene at leadership conditioning, that calm
Bill Lampton Ph.D.
and thank you. Thank you for that. I know that people will be reaching out to you and since you’ve given your contact information I’m happy to give mine starting with my YouTube channel. My if you go to YouTube and you look at the search bar type in my YouTube moniker which is Bill Lampton PhD, you will find and we all love that word free, you will find free. More than 450 instructional videos, many of them are solo, but in recent years, many others are the biz communication show where I have hosted experts that you will want to learn from him while you’re on my YouTube channel. Notice that subscribe button, click it. And you will have again free access to ongoing instruction. My website quite naturally, since I’m the biz communication guy, my website is biz, biz, biz communication guy.com. And when you’re on my website, notice that you can subscribe to the podcast. So please do that while you’re there. I certainly welcome phone calls, because I’d like to hear about your communication challenges and problems, and also talk with you about different ways that that we can address them. Darlene, I would like to ask, we’ve had a highly productive conversation, and 30 seconds or so what would you pull together as maybe the nuggets that you want us to remember?
Darlene Drew
And we’ve talked a lot about the importance of work and we’ve talked a lot about obstacles. And what comes to mind is one of my favorite quotes for from a leader that I admire. And it’s simply this, it always seems impossible until it’s done. And I think that summarizes what we’ve talked about today. I encourage people to get the work done.
Bill Lampton Ph.D.
That’s a great way to wind it up. Thank you so much Darlene drew for being with us today. Thanks to those of you who joined us on video and on the podcast. Be with us for the next edition of the biz communication Show. I’m your host Bill Lampton the biz communication guy
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
